Woman Ghost That Swears

PERTURBED TENANT COMPLAINS TO MAGISTRATE

Referred to Sir Conan Doyle and Sir O. Lodge

The Evening Telegraph ~ Thursday 6th of January 1921.

A short elderly woman, evidently in a very perturbed state of mind, complained to Mr Rooth, the Magistrate at Thames Police Court, that there was a ghost at the house in which she lodged and that it annoyed her.

"I don't know who it is," she said, "but it is a woman, and she swears - uses the most awful language. And then it seems some one has put a battery on me, and it goes all over my head and works all through me."

The Magistrate - She uses bad language? That is very interesting, because we have recently been told that the next world is not so perfect as we had been led to believe it might be. What else does she say?

Applicant - She says put Smith on it.

Magistrate - Not an uncommon name. She doesn't say "Robinson," does she? If she does it would be rather good advice, as there is a solicitor of that name in Court who would have been able to deal with the matter. What do you want me to do? Do you think I ought to go and lay the ghost - exorcise it?

Applicant - Something should be done, because for six months past I haven't been able to sleep and have had to walk about all day.

"But Metropolitan magistrates," Mr Rooth continued, "do not deal with this subject. They have no jurisdiction over ghosts at all. There are, however, several societies and eminent men with whom you could get into touch - for instance, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Sir Oliver Lodge. They take great interest in all these matters.

The applicant (apparently much relieved) - Oh, thank you, Sir.